Sometimes you have to tell yourself to STFU and move on.

Over the course of two years, most of my writing dealt with loss, addiction, depression and learning to cope with living with HIV. These are important issues and every piece published meant a lot for me. PersonallyI hopefully helped someone going through a similar situation and my pieces fit our mission of ”[Giving] voice to anyone living with or affected by HIV…... Read More

Mom.

The holiday’s always bring out the worst in me. At the worst times. It’s 3:18am and I need to write. My mom passed away 12 years ago July at 37. Every year about this time I fall apart. Luckily, I have a place to get it all out, here. Christmas 1993, Connye, my mom gave me a journal so we could write each other. I want. No, I need to share it with whoever will... Read More

Depressives vs. Alcoholics (and the bi-polars don’t count) pt. 3

III. I wake up to bright lights shining in my face. I see nurse Ratchet standing at the door. “C’mon, let’s go. PT in ten minutes.” She states rather curtly. “What?” I question rather groggily. I rub my eyes and look out the window. It is dark outside. The soft round floods of orange beneath the outdoor lamps are barely enough to cut through the darkness. “What time... Read More

Depressives vs. Alcoholics (and the bi-polars don’t count) pt. 2

II. “I should have waited until Monday.” I mutter to myself while I stare out the window. I am not sure how much time has passed, but I can see soldiers heading home for the day. Shifts are over. “Must be 5 o’clock.” I continue muttering. This room is disturbingly quiet – except for the air conditioner’s motor and the loud click of the seconds hand on the mounted clock.... Read More

Depressives versus Alcoholics (Pt.1)

Who here has ever been ‘so bored you could just die?’ Raise your hand. Who here has ever spent time in a hospital Psych/o Ward? Raise your hand. Who here has ever experienced the second question because they attempted the first? Raise your hand. Well I have. You see, almost 20 years ago while stationed in Fort Hood, Texas, I attempted to take that faithful... Read More

International Mister Fancypants 2008 (Monday & Tuesday)

I woke up in a dark, empty room and immediately wanted to die. I was still in Chicago and this was the final day of my personal hell before returning to Seattle. I vowed to never again attend this event. As I opened my eyes, I turned my head and was immediately furious with the pristine bed staring back at me. The harsh and painful symbol that Michael did not sleep here – which... Read More

International Mister Fancypants 2008 (Sunday)

I've got all this ironin' to do and my diet pills are wearing off. Housekeeping!” I woke up to the all too familiar sound of someone knocking at the door. Immediately followed by a gruff German voice doing a very poor imitation of a Mexican señorita’s accent. “Housekeeping!” “We don’t want any!” I opened my eyes and saw that is was only 9:30 AM. I was immediately... Read More

Hatred In God’s Name

Seeing it felt like a blow to my gut. My eyes immediately stung with tears, the kind that grip the corners of my eyes, refusing to fall. I came across it while researching the Internet for information on Matthew Shepard. There wavering on my screen was an image of Matthew Shepard’s disembodied face frozen in a sad expression engulfed in animated flames. The words jumped off... Read More

Back to School.

  Back in 2000 I started a GSA [Gay-Straight Alliance] called Spectrum at Lewis and Clark High School in Spokane, WA; it wasn’t easy. There was a divide between the Principal and Mr. Roberts, the school’s drama teacher, Dr. Dupper, my school counselor and myself. The three of us against him. GSAs were still fairly new and Spokane was and still is fairly conservative.... Read More

For Jamey Rodemeyer. RIP.

This story was posted months ago it’s a piece on my growing up and hardships and about the “It Get’s Better Project”. The reasoning for republishing this it is due to the recent loss of Jamey Robemeyer, 14, he was bullied and made a “It Get’s Better” video describing his torment that you can watch below. RIP Jamey, Hivster.com’s... Read More